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| My feeble attempt at convincing Jakedogg to attend...... |
I'd like to help you answer an age old question. I will consider this blog to be in the writing style of "persuasive". The question to be answered: Pirates or ninjas? My position: please read on folks.
I've always been a big proponent of holidays and festivals. I was able to experience a part of a SATX festival, Fiesta, last year. This "fiesta" is a 10 day celebration of Mexican culture, tradition and heritage. It's a nonstop list of fun things to do as well as a culturally enlightening expereince. Well, Tampa Bay has a similar tradition, one that I've been celebrating now for seven years strong. This festival is called "Gasparilla" It's a month long celebration of the culture, tradition and heritage of.....pirates. Now, it's very important to understand this culture, especially if you come from pirate lineage. For this reason, I celebrate Gasparilla. And I do it with all possible effort I am able to afford. It's always fun to be responsible for de-flowering a Gasparilla virgin. This year we had a few who lost their G-card. Miriam being one. Because of the number of non-Floridians in attendance, the main 'rilla weekend is always approximately 4 days long. This year we had kick off on Thursday night, at, where else? CHEAP! DUH! Thursday being a school night, Miriam and I were going to head in as soon as our Midget, Candice arrived after being re-routed through Nashville. As we were waiting for her, we indulged in a supper club box of treats and re-wrote the entire "Group of Huge Girls" script (will be explained later). Candice arrived, shots were consumed, and Miriam and I split back to the 'View (not before a halt in the street, questioned about the box I was carrying clearly marked "pizza", if it were chocolate chip, what. the. dick). I needed ample rest so my girl T and I could scoop my most valued associate, Jakedogg from the airport in the AM. We collect our precious cargo, Jake the next morning after much build up and anticipation. Toya is not disappointed. Jake is everything I've described him as and more, and as T stated "Megan in male form". Friday, we may or may not have started the night lost on Bayshore in search of a certain Asian's birthday party, and ended the night back at Cheap.....so?
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| Dang straight that's how we roll.......matching shirts like a GD family reunion |
The real action doesn't begin until Saturday morning, right? I had set my alarm for 8am as instructed by LisaLove, AKA the Gasparilla drill sergeant. Yeah fucking right, I didn't need that shit. This is better than Christmas gang raped by Disney World and Elvis. I'm up and at 'em dancing around the house in an attempt to rally the troops. Once we finally board the Altima and embark on our SoHo bound journey, I am over the moon with excitement. Mind you, we are running approximately 2 hours behind our pre-determined arrival time of 9am; however, this works in our favor as it allows anticipation of our entrance to the tailgate to reach a record high. Our arrival is met with much excitement and elation and booze of course. The next few hours goes as follows: drink, eat, Andre champs chugging with my spring break crew, bean bags, flip cup, drink, eat, music, drink and in preparation to depart for the parade, an obligatory tandem bathroom trip (me on the toilet, Pas in the bathtub- results= Pas falling ass first, miraculously hitting the water to on position, subsequently soaking herself and her pirate attire). Fast forward, walk to parade, Seth and Meg Busta Rhymes walk to Outkast "Slump". Arrive at parade. Someone buys illicit drugs from a 12 year old, Mollz challenges shirtless man to sword fight, wins, I save a few lives, bite Kens corn dog, watch parade, get a hickey, walk home. Somehow I find myself separated from the 5+ people I started the day with and I only have T and Mollz. Now the three of us are the creative types, so we decided to make a game of our walk. Rules: declare "happy stepchild" to all passers-by and whoever can get a "happy stepchild" response gets a point. Now this was very amusing until a certain redhead with a "fiery" temper decided that we were targeting only her. Molly's invitation to come to our party to dye our hair red didn't help. Somehow make it back to Lisa's, back to Riverview, get a bit out of hand with Casper, Dizzle and Jakedogg playing ping pong......invent a more time efficient way of travel from Michigan via a hummus luge and pita suit.......wake up, go to Waffle House.......BOOM, where did that weekend go? Holy balls, there was a multitude of other amazingness that transpired, I can't remember for the life of me. Thank Jack Sparrow this shit happens annually. Until next year, pirates. Better luck next time, Ninjas.......
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| Our reenactment of the Ninja Turtle Face.... |
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